I was just sitting in my hotel room thinking how I was homesick to see my wife. I realized that this probably never would have happened before a couple months ago. I have always been self sufficient and never needed anyone. I remember getting homesick at summer camp as a kid but that was the last time.
Its not that I can't function without my wife but I enjoy our time together and I miss it. I love the time that we spend just hanging out, playing games or going out. It doesn't matter what we do I enjoy the time together.
I was also thinking that I definitely was in no place to be a father several months ago. My wife and I were talking the other night and we both agreed that we made our marriage look good on the outside but it definitely wasn't a great marriage. We were both looking out for number one. I wasn't happy because I wasn't getting what I wanted (emphasis on "I"). I have finally realized through reading and praying that I can't be focused on what it is that I want. Once I started to appreciate my wife and serve my wife I finally started to see that it became easier for her to give me the things I wanted. Basically I wasn't treating the marriage the way God designed it and both of us were suffering for it. I can't even imagine bringing a child into that environment. I can support and serve my wife because it brings me joy. I enjoy thinking about her and doing things for her because we grow closer together each time I do. That means that we both start to mutually serve the needs of the other. When everyone's needs are being met then everyone is a happier person. This doesn't mean that there aren't going to be hangups but it means that we can work through them better than we had in the past.
I've found myself turning to prayer for everything. I know who's in control. God is. I know that I have to raise my concerns to Him because he is the only one with ultimate control. Its my job to take care of my wife and treat her as my "ewe lamb."
I wish everyone would come to this realization. Life would be so much better if that were the case.
If you haven't read this book pick it up. Its for the men but the further I get into it the more I think its for everyone.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Great Weekend
I just spent the best weekend with my mom and my wife. It was way too short but it is the best time that I have had with family in a long time. I think that with all the changes in my life lately I have come to enjoy time with my family much more than I ever have in the past.
It's extremely hard to be gone but I have to do it for work. My wife and I were talking about how everyone else in my group is getting through it all and she was kind of shocked when I answered her. I told her that most of the people I am here with view this as a "break" or a "vacation" from their families. I had to tell her that I probably would have felt the same way several months ago. It's really sad to think that I would have desired a "break" away from my wife. With my new outlook on things I really need to be around my wife. We are one and my walk with God is strengthened by time with my wife. We were made to be together and it is hard to be away from her. This doesn't mean that I don't desire time to myself or that I don't need it. It is just difficult to do these prolonged trips away from her. I know when I go home I will still take time to go out with the guys or go play golf but I know that I will be going home to her and I will be going home to her with a clear conscious and I can go home and continue to build our relationship and our relationship with God.
I guess this blog has somewhat turned its focus from being completely about sexual impurity and moved towards strengthening my marriage. I don't think I have turned from talking about the sexual impurity but I am looking to show what happens in life and marriage once sexual impurity is gone. Its amazing the changes that have happened in such a short amount of time and I hope that people can read this and see what is possible. Once you focus on God and decide that you are going to go into things wholeheartedly anything is possible and amazing things happen.
It's extremely hard to be gone but I have to do it for work. My wife and I were talking about how everyone else in my group is getting through it all and she was kind of shocked when I answered her. I told her that most of the people I am here with view this as a "break" or a "vacation" from their families. I had to tell her that I probably would have felt the same way several months ago. It's really sad to think that I would have desired a "break" away from my wife. With my new outlook on things I really need to be around my wife. We are one and my walk with God is strengthened by time with my wife. We were made to be together and it is hard to be away from her. This doesn't mean that I don't desire time to myself or that I don't need it. It is just difficult to do these prolonged trips away from her. I know when I go home I will still take time to go out with the guys or go play golf but I know that I will be going home to her and I will be going home to her with a clear conscious and I can go home and continue to build our relationship and our relationship with God.
I guess this blog has somewhat turned its focus from being completely about sexual impurity and moved towards strengthening my marriage. I don't think I have turned from talking about the sexual impurity but I am looking to show what happens in life and marriage once sexual impurity is gone. Its amazing the changes that have happened in such a short amount of time and I hope that people can read this and see what is possible. Once you focus on God and decide that you are going to go into things wholeheartedly anything is possible and amazing things happen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)